Forgiveness Is A Choice: A Step-by-Step Process For Resolving Anger And Restoring Hope Download Free (EPUB, PDF)
A self-help text for people who have been deeply hurt by another and caught in a vortex of anger, depression and resentment. Robert D. Enright shows how forgiveness can reduce anxiety and depression while increasing self-esteem and hopefulness toward one's future. The volume demonstrates how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver far more than the forgiven, and seeks to lead the reader on a path that will bring clarity and peace. Enright is careful to distinguish forgiveness from pseudoforgiveness, and to reassure readers that forgiveness does not mean accepting continued abuse or even reconciling with the offender. Rather, by giving the gift of forgiveness, readers are encouraged to confront and let go of their pain in order to regain their lives.
Hardcover: 299 pages
Publisher: American Psychological Association (APA); 1 edition (January 1, 2001)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1557987572
ISBN-13: 978-1557987570
Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (68 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #92,062 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #51 in Books > Textbooks > Medicine & Health Sciences > Medicine > Clinical > Mental Health #158 in Books > Self-Help > Abuse #311 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Emotions
After reading online reviews of multiple forgiveness books, I decided on this one when I was going through a traumatic time in my life. Since this is the only one I read, I have nothing to compare it to. But I read this book cover to cover and found it to be effective in my forgiveness journey.The book deals a lot with the overall process of forgiveness and there are very specific journal exercises one must do throughout the book. I diligently did all the writing exercises, even though I thought some of the questions were repetitive. And in doing so, you really get to the root of what you are feeling and how to deal with all the emotions you have.Almost two years later, having completely forgiven the person who hurt me the most, I went back and read those writing exercises. I could literally see the progress over time, how my perspective and feelings changed as I came to terms with what happened, and slowly but surely forgave and moved on. Since there are a lot of writing exercises to work through, this book requires time and patience to complete. But then again, forgiving a deep hurt requires a lot of patience. I recommend.
Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, at other times we need to forgive others. Easier said that done - yes! However, each of us does posses the inate ability to forgive if we choose to make use of that special blessing. As a counsellor, I have counselled many victims of domestic violence, child abuse and family tragedies. It is important to remember one is not forgiving simply for the benefit of the person who has committed an injustice; one is forgiving as part of the process of healing. Only by coming to terms with the demons of the past can one truly heal and build a future. The reasons and means of forgiving are contained in this wonderful book.Enright is not a person talking in terms of one who has been there and done that, nor does he speak in a condescending tone which implies, "this worked for me, so this will work for everyone." "Forgiveness is a Choice" is written by a professional who is both a psychologist and professor. An unforgiving person can be a difficult, over-bearing, often impossible person do live with on a day-to-day basis. The biggest challenge may be to get them to read the book in the first place, but if you do, the excellent advice found here is bound to hit home and could well begin the healing process. The book is most deserving of a five-star rating and highly recommended.
I have read at least 30 books on forgiveness and have to say this one is in the top three. The process of forgiving is clearly outlined and you are gently encouraged to walk through it. Enright provides suggestions for journaling, including sending you back to reveiw your progress in the process.The examples he uses are realistic and constructive, everything from children of divorced parents to parents of murdered children. Most of the examples show how the person felt during the different stages of forgiving.Although Enright does mention God and even suggests journaling your belief, he doesn't emphasize that God can help us walk through the forgiveness process. That would be my only criticism.If you really want to get over your anger, this book would help you go a long way toward your goal.
I was looking for a book to help me through the forgiveness process. I bought this book ("Forgiveness is a Choice" by R.D. Enright) based on the excellent reviews. After reading this book twice and working through each exercise at least one, I find myself extremely disappointed.Pros: The writing was fairly clear and concise. Enright provides many relevant examples throughout the book. The exercises promote thought and reflection with well-defined guidelines.Cons: Ultimately, I felt the topic was not addressed adequately. The majority of the text focused on choosing forgiveness (hence the title) as an option to reduce depression and anxiety. Most of the exercises explored feelings of shame and guilt as associated with anger. After estimating the amount of energy devoted to angers and frustrations, readers are asked to consider forgiveness as a means to reduce their angers/frustrations.Example: One of the exercises asked me to rate the strength of my feelings including anger, shame, etc. It also asked me to rate the strength of my feelings towards acceptance and forgiveness. While we are asked to rate the strength of our feelings, there is no guidance regarding the transformation of negative emotions (e.g. anger, shame) towards positive actions (e.g. acceptance, forgiveness).Overall: All too much of this book is spent trying to convince the reader that forgiveness is a feasible, agreeable option. Far too little is spent on the actual process of "release" (i.e., forgiveness). I felt it was too general to be truly helpful. For myself, the book "Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames" by Thich Nhat Hanh was much more helpful regarding the transformation of anger.
Finally, a book has been published that actually takes the reader on a step-by-step path toward genuine forgiveness. The author has spent many years researching the most effective path in helping people forgive. All of that work has been gently and carefully distilled into this book and it shows. The gist of forgiving is this: First, you must acknowledge that someone hurt you deeply. Sometimes that hurt can turn to anger and the anger can actually bring down the one who is and remains angry. The reader is asked to examine how angry he or she is at the offending person. Next, comes the courageous act of committing to forgive the other person. This involves a truthful look at what forgiveness is and what it is not. Then comes the work of forgiveness: trying to see the offender in new, more helpful ways (without compromising the truth of what happened). From these exercises, the reader becomes open to feelings of empathy and compassion toward the offender. Such emotions can be greatly beneficial to the one who forgives. The reader is encouraged to accept the pain of the injury so that the pain and bitterness are not spread to others. Other healing steps are included. Throughout the book, the author challenges the reader to keep a journal to reflect on the healing process of forgiveness. What gave me confidence is that the author has actually researched the effectiveness of his approach and has shown it to work. I could not put the book down. Very highly recommended.
Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope Radical Forgiveness: A Revolutionary Five-Stage Process to Heal Relationships, Let Go of Anger and Blame, Find Peace in Any Situation Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior, Second Edition: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, ... and Bad Behavior, Second Edition AUDIO Facing Forgiveness: A Catholic's Guide to Letting Go of Anger and Welcoming Reconciliation Meditation To Help with Anger & Forgiveness (Health Journeys) The From Anger to Intimacy: How Forgiveness Can Transform a Marriage The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath The Anger Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Deal with Anger and Frustration Anger Experiences: Group Member Workbook (Anger Management) (Volume 1) Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger Measuring the Software Process: Statistical Process Control for Software Process Improvement Well Connected: Releasing Power, Restoring Hope through Kingdom Partnerships The Financial Peace Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide to Restoring Your Family's Financial Health Life, In Spite of Me: Extraordinary Hope After a Fatal Choice Pharmacology and the Nursing Process, 7e (Lilley, Pharmacology and the Nursing Process) Now What? Confronting and Resolving Ethical Questions: A Handbook for Teachers Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior, 2nd Edition Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior, Second Edition ( Paperback) Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior, Second Edition
